Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
