I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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