I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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