giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
