just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
