singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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