Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
