I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
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it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
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If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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