Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
