Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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