oh god the rape fog is back!
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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