He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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