Texts From Last Night

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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP

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  (307): yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP http://tfl.nu/4nbd
  Replies (8) Good night (3145) Bad night (705)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year

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  (248): ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year http://tfl.nu/bdbv
  Replies (9) Good night (6055) Bad night (930)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  It's like a mixture of two words

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  "town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"

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  (985): It's like a mixture of two words (985): "town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now" http://tfl.nu/homf
  Replies (8) Good night (3116) Bad night (946)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?

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  (814): where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ? http://tfl.nu/ejao
  Replies (8) Good night (2488) Bad night (702)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.

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  (225): You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night. http://tfl.nu/uygn
  Replies (6) Good night (3647) Bad night (954)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos

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  (518): Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos http://tfl.nu/5fyh
  Replies (2) Good night (2100) Bad night (820)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.

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  (318): If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night. http://tfl.nu/4uhw
  Replies (6) Good night (1772) Bad night (587)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade

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  (954): You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade http://tfl.nu/kpha
  Replies (4) Good night (994) Bad night (527)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.

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  (412): My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help. http://tfl.nu/9s63
  Replies (2) Good night (558) Bad night (688)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.

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  (401): i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher. http://tfl.nu/v6bw
  Replies (2) Good night (793) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.

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  (309): Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign. http://tfl.nu/lj4r
  Replies (5) Good night (294) Bad night (556)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.

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  (701): Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open. http://tfl.nu/k8hm
  Replies (9) Good night (2045) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.

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  (651): Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year. http://tfl.nu/7b82
  Replies (2) Good night (424) Bad night (257)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.

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  (850): Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants. http://tfl.nu/1sxz
  Replies (1) Good night (247) Bad night (400)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...

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  (973): Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again... http://tfl.nu/uyrk
  Replies (1) Good night (272) Bad night (645)

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