Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  My hand turned me down

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  (303): My hand turned me down http://tfl.nu/yueq
  Replies (5) Good night (567) Bad night (3114)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy

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  (847): i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy http://tfl.nu/8awt
  Replies (110) Good night (14978) Bad night (1390)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend

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  (410): best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend http://tfl.nu/u596
  Replies (23) Good night (4669) Bad night (707)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.

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  (815): i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision. http://tfl.nu/h6vg
  Replies (17) Good night (8837) Bad night (975)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?

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  (614): Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit? http://tfl.nu/zum7
  Replies (35) Good night (1548) Bad night (5540)
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  (607): View more from New York

  When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.

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  (607): When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up. http://tfl.nu/oiun
  Replies (10) Good night (4633) Bad night (970)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat

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  (303): You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat http://tfl.nu/m0wi
  Replies (11) Good night (4333) Bad night (1458)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even

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  (717): She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even http://tfl.nu/tali
  Replies (14) Good night (3250) Bad night (1391)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.

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  (815): She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water. http://tfl.nu/94yr
  Replies (8) Good night (5096) Bad night (1222)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.

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  (701): I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad. http://tfl.nu/wm5g
  Replies (9) Good night (1139) Bad night (512)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol

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  (321): Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol http://tfl.nu/hpqb
  Replies (11) Good night (534) Bad night (1330)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society

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  (307): I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society http://tfl.nu/0efv
  Replies (3) Good night (857) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.

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  (775): Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity. http://tfl.nu/mwyr
  Replies (6) Good night (506) Bad night (247)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.

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  (412): How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home? (480): I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk. http://tfl.nu/69on
  Replies (2) Good night (651) Bad night (242)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Why do you hate her?

  (1-601): View more from Mississippi

  She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....

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  (601): Why do you hate her? (1-601): She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina..... http://tfl.nu/0u28
  Replies (1) Good night (732) Bad night (269)

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