Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt

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  (248): yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt http://tfl.nu/91j7
  Replies (11) Good night (1272) Bad night (3236)
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?

  (540): View more from Virginia

  you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.

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  (434): why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed? (540): you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets. http://tfl.nu/2g4o
  Replies (42) Good night (28807) Bad night (1608)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.

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  (516): It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch. http://tfl.nu/fh6f
  Replies (9) Good night (6484) Bad night (892)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.

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  (908): i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone. http://tfl.nu/i40f
  Replies (23) Good night (6827) Bad night (1576)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics

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  (513): i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics http://tfl.nu/sgxc
  Replies (9) Good night (4261) Bad night (1147)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith

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  (705): I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith http://tfl.nu/hj9t
  Replies (3) Good night (971) Bad night (801)
• Favorite

  (283): View more from Ohio

  He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.

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  (283): He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought. http://tfl.nu/hl8d
  Replies (3) Good night (1834) Bad night (609)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.

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  (724): Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores. http://tfl.nu/hule
  Replies (5) Good night (559) Bad night (1301)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.

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  (717): You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep. http://tfl.nu/lypi
  Replies (11) Good night (2222) Bad night (544)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad

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  (650): The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad http://tfl.nu/ulr7
  Replies (7) Good night (686) Bad night (1140)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.

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  (+61): Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me. http://tfl.nu/7l1e
  Replies (2) Good night (765) Bad night (375)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong

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  (713): I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong http://tfl.nu/72i1
  Replies (1) Good night (394) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.

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  (814): Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn. http://tfl.nu/bgu3
  Replies (2) Good night (500) Bad night (273)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"

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  (845): should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me" http://tfl.nu/qqbr
  Replies (9) Good night (728) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper

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  (970): Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper http://tfl.nu/zqdx
  Replies (3) Good night (411) Bad night (172)

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