hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.