He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
reminds me of losing my job
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed