Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
