An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome