and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
So squirting runs in the family.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.