VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
