Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
God, I missed his penis.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
