even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
