So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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