so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
