He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
