My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
