NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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