similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
