I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
