i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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