I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
