my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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