If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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