If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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