So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
The best revenge is premature balding
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Semen is not good for contacts.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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