how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
