i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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