Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
