She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
