alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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