biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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