She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
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