They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
