Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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