Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
why is half of my head shaved?
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