But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize