I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
