Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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