This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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