I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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