just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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