there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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