Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
