In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
