Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
