Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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