I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
