from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
