It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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