Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I intend to get homeless drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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