i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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