and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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