The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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