Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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