Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
