i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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