Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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