just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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