I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I just found a bag of teeth...
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
