I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i love accidental penises.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
